


The harbor's fireflies

by youkkai



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Astronomy, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Starbucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 14:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1986666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youkkai/pseuds/youkkai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinji moves to the city after being accepted to Kyoto University. Everything—the blinding lights, the imperial architecture, the mass transit—was disturbingly confusing.  Among all the changes, meeting someone who dragged him out of his natural loneliness was the most unexpected one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extended version of [Porto](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1501163).
> 
> Although I did make some changes in order to make things flow smoothly, sticking to the original plot was prioritary. I also tried researching everything I could; please feel free to point out any accuracy!

I closed the room’s door without any trace of grace; my body was slightly numb. The travel from Takayama—my hometown encrusted in the Japanese Alps and, to a certain extent, foreign to the passage of time—, to Kyoto had been particularly exhausting; it was with great pleasure that I took my hands off the heavy suitcase. There was so much stuff inside that it didn’t even move after being abandoned.

My fingers started to massage my temples almost instinctively, and I found myself slowly going down to the floor, only uncapable of falling dramatically because of the friction between my back and the wall. The burgundy fitted carpet felt strangely hard against my ankles after I took my shoes off. Trying to relax a bit, I let a tired sigh escape from my mouth. _Months have passed since I've been accepted to Kyoto University... Yet it still feels unreal_. An unoticeable smile came to his lips. At least they didn't throw a party at town since "their boy was going to study in the city."

I opened my eyes; it took a while for my vision to deblur. When it did, I shook my head a few times, trying to organize my thoughts. My gaze winded through the room, as if I was an explorer, my mind setting a to-do list for all of the things I could think on that needed to be done before my classes started—for reference, the following week.

The room was as small as expected – the pension I’d be staying in was the only relatively cheap one near the faculty that I managed to find on the internet. Before deciding on it, I tried to get into the college’s dormitories; unfortunately, for me, there were people aplenty with the same desire—to the point that I didn’t even have time to fill the application before all the rooms were already taken.

There was a bed in front of me. More precisely, a dunk bed. The owner of the pension had mentioned that I could get a potential roommate; I had been praying in painful zeal for said roommate to show up before the first month's rental. Additionally, there were still three more rooms, already fully occupied, by other students.

Even with the pale curtains closed, the white walls still reflected a lot of light. Beside the bed, there were a mild-sized dresser and a small corner table. A small penguin sculpture was placed on top of the dresser; focusing my gaze, I realized it was a clock, though the pointers didn’t seem to be moving. Albeit looking quite old, the furniture’s wooden material had a fancy aura.

I finally lifted myself up. After stretching, I started unpacking my suitcase. There were some pairs of clothes, already folded. I tried putting them all in the first drawer, but, to my incovenient surprise, I had to use the second one as well. I'd have to buy more clothes eventually, since I'd only brought ones for early autumn. _There’s two more drawers left... If I do get a roommate, I hope they don’t bring too much stuff._

My MP3 player was easily found after the clothes were gone. After spending the rest of Holocene untangling the earbuds, I selected a playlist I'd assembled a few days before. I tossed my shirt away, feeling hotter and preparing myself to conclude my work. After that, organizing what still needed to be unpacked was no big deal—mainly some books, which I left under the bed, and hygiene products. I dropped myself to the lower bed, breathing heavily. _I did it_.

Slowly, the sounds outside became gradually clearer to me as my heartbeats stopped reverberating so deathly in my ears. My playlist was playing with almost no volume, so taking heed of the exterior wasn't a challenge. Some birds chirping, people talking, eventual cars passing by. The street in where I'd be staying wasn't hectic, and maybe that was why the price was somehow affordable in a place as costy as a megalopolitan city. I'd had to walk at least twenty minutes to get to the metro, almost all of the area around being residential.

I could clearly sense myself drowning into sleep. I had been woken up all the way from Takayama, admiring the landscapes and imagining what my new life would be. Now my body seemed to recquire making up for all the carbohydrates it needed to burn in order to maintain me awake. The bed was so comfortable at the moment I almost moaned in plesure, half my conscience already gone. Had I taken my shoes off? I hoped so.

A brutal smack on the door cracked my heavy eyelids open, as though all the sleepiness faded away on a click. Confused for some moments, I tried to understand the words being yelled from the entrance of my room.

"Shinji-kun! We'll start the get-together now! You're going to attend, right? You promised me!"

I probably mumbled something that satisfied the voice's owner, because they soon made a happy sound, said they were counting on me and steps walking away were heard.

* * *

 

I was able to name that person only some minuntes later, after thinking it out repeatedly—although most of that time had been spent on me trying not to faint: Katsuragi Misato, age unknown, purple hair, easy-going personality. Nice legs. Also, the president of Gimpo Homestay.

When I was showering, later on, some memories came back in a rush, one after another. I remembered talking to her for the first time after finding Gimpo's ads on social media. I made a visit some weeks ago to personally check the place, had to pay some months of rental in advance and, as the facts stated, apparently promised I'd go to her welcoming party. I hadn't really hone in on what I said back then, just after arriving to the pension, mainly because I was awfully tired to even think properly. I suppose it costed me an early sleep today.

An intense shiver traced all of my spine's extent. A fraction of the shower's water was horribly cold and I forgot to avoid it from time to time. I felt a low groan escape my mouth.

* * *

 

I had been reciting nearly a million one excuses for me not to show up at Misato-san's welcoming party. None of them was convincing enough, all sounding ridiculous when I repeated them in my head. So I ended up putting a plaid, white shirt, skinny jeans and the new pair of Nikes I'd gotten for my birthday two weeks ago. Walking slowly, I tried to delay what I new for certain that was going to be a disaster.

"Oh, there you are!"

I turned my back in resignation, meeting the everlasting eagerness of Misato-san. She appeared to be in high spirits and much more refined than the tacky human I met times ago. She wore high heels, loud against the floor, and a short black dress. The purply hair would move in a suave manner against her shoulders, done in soft waves, as the sakura earrings swung at the briefest of the movements.

“H-Hi, Misat-"

"You're the only one missing, can you believe that? Everyone's already talking, so you're going to be the one growing musty alone if you take longer," she reasoned, pulling my left hand with such harshness I thought my fist would break for a moment.

"I'll be growing musty whatever is the time I go there," I mumbled to myself and accepting my doomed fate.

* * *

 

“The last one has come!”.

Her exclamation cut all the voices that just one second ago were babbling energetically, and a cold sensation landed inside my belly. With apprehension, I slowly tried opening my eyes—I hadn’t even noticed they were closed.

There were about ten people there who all seemed to be around my age. At that time, I should've introduced myself, but all I could think of was that there were ten pairs of eyes glaring at me. And they didn’t stop, as if expecting something from me, analyzing me. My throat was dry, and my hands shook slightly. I started to sweat coldly, in desperate search for a safe place to look at. I’d be on the edge of screaming if that kept going on.

“His name is Shinji-kun”, someone said behind me. It took me a second to understand it could only be Misato-san. “Just like all of you, he’s a student in his first year."

I think the atmosphere changed a little, because everyone’s expressions softened. I was decent enough to push my shyness away and bow to their direction.

I noticed they were eating around a low table; bowls of ramen, curry, yakisoba, rice, and an infinity of side dishes were served. The warm steam lifting slowly from them remembered me that I hadn’t eaten since the beginning of the day. My stomach backflipped in absolute pain, so much neglected hydrochloric acid inside of it that there was no absurdity on saying gastritis was on its way.

The room’s decoration was as traditional as the rest of the pension. The lower half of the walls was made of wood, and the upper one was painted white. The rounded windows were tinted with flowers—they matched the little bonsai placed here and there. The floor was arranged with welcoming tatami.

Misato forced me to sit quickly and I tried to obey without stumble over my own feet and on top of the table. "I need to go back for a sec, but you should all just enjoy yourselves," she proceded to tell us. "And the meal. It took me a lot of time, effort and love, y'know... To order all of these."

* * *

 

“Well, my name’s Kensuke”, a boy on the other side of the table made it known. We decided to present ourselves formally before giving continuity to the get-together.

Kensuke had big glasses on; although his hair had substantial volume, it didn’t fall like a waterfall upon his freckled face, albeit he did have some bangs. I gave him a curt nod, almost subconsciously, although he wasn't even looking at me.

“Toji,” the one beside him said in a relaxed way. He was wearing a blue cap backwards. From the way his arm was wrapped around Kensuke’s shoulders, I assumed they were good friends.

“Mari!” The girl next to him declared with a big smile on her face. While she adjusted her glasses, I unintentionally paid too much attention to her eyes. They were sharp, intelligent. She perceived I was staring too much, and lifted an eyebrow amusedly; embarrassed, I quickly looked away.

People kept introducing themselves. As names I’ve always heard, like “Yukio” and “Haru”, were being pronounced, I tried to appear genuinely interested—all the while hoping no one would see I was trembling slightly, antecipating the horror show of stammer I was about to give. Their voices all sounded horribly close, as if trapping me into my own anxiety.

Before I could properly realize, there was finally just only one left before me. I shifted my head to look at the last person—they were immediately at my right. My eyes widened and I wondered why hadn't I paid attention to him before. Probably because I was nervous. His iris were nearly blood red, a shocking contrast against his silver hair and the utter white skin.

“Nagisa Kaworu. It is a pleasure to meet you,” he smiled softly. Eye contact was made with all of the group as he spoke, and the last words were said as he looked at me.

 _Kaworu…_ , I tasted the name inside my mind. _It sounds pretty_. I could sense my past despair giving place to a new feeling of curiosity. For a second, I wanted to hear more about him—which later made me frown at my own thoughts.

As the seconds passed and I had my internal discussion, I noticed the room was too silent. I felt my cheecks burning when I realized it was my turn. "I'm Ikari Shinji," I said, trying to have my voice as steady as possible. "Please treat me well."

* * *

_It was the middle of the season, and, as for tradition, my town was celebrating our gratitude for the mountains’ spirits as we did every year. The spring was unusually warm in Hokkaido that year, and I felt comfortable for the first time I could remember when wearing no more than my father’s old kimono._

_There were aligned lanterns placed everywhere, illuminating the path we should gather around; the reddish lights were inviting and numerous, and they colored beautifully the close hills. Almost everyone was in their traditional clothing, and the various tents sold delicious food. Their scent filled the whole area, and I doubted someone would be able to leave the place without eating anything._

_My friends were playing with the sparkles their parents bought them. I didn’t know where my father was; he had left a long time ago saying he’d buy me takoyaki._

_Locks of my friends’ hair floated in the air as they ran and threatened one another with their sparkles. The very end of their kimono was already somewhat dirty, and their faces were blushed by the body heat. I was sitting on a rock, watching them with an emotionless expression._

* * *

 

Just like before, I wasn’t saying anything. Almost everyone was either talking or laughing, eventually both at the same time. Toji and Kensuke were undoubtedly the most active ones, although, in a general idea, everyone seemed to be having a good time.

They were part of the painting. No matter how you looked at it, even that one shy girl in the corner seemed to belong to the event. They were comfortable being there, and everyone was fine with each other’s presence. The aura was a happy one, and Misato seemed to had made the right thing in joining her clients together.

Still, I wasn't part of that. Socializing was already bad enough, let alone with ten strangers all at once. At least I didn't need to talk, albeit I knew they were avoiding to look at the spot I sat on for this exact reason. _God, do I want to go away_. My eyes stared uncertainly at my fidgeting fingers as I hoped time would pass by quicker.

“Please eat something, Shinji-kun.”

I became startled at the sudden mention of my name. My head turned to my right, and I saw Kaworu smiling calmly.

"W-what?" I managed to stutter.

"Everything is delicious and I'm positive you'll enjoy it," he explained, adding some fried moyashi to his plate.

I nodded as an answer, not really sure if I was willing to make the conversation weird with my lack of social abilities. Although I tried to show no more than a brief and thankful smile, for some reason I felt like beaming stupidly. In the end, I had a small bowl of ramen and some vegetables.

I glanced sideways at him for a moment, but quickly turned away. _Why did he take the time to offer me food?_ I thought as I blew on the noodles. I hadn't been saying anything besides my dumb presentation. _Maybe that's why. He was just trying to be nice_.

 _Does it mean he wish I was talking?_ I slurped the noodles. They tasted really nice. I glanced at Kaworu again, not as stealthily as before, vaguely thinking of something to say. I sighed in frustration, not being able to come up with anything. Now that he was staring back at me, maybe he could initiate the conversation, so that I'd be inspired. _His eyes are really red_...

I almost spat everything, at last noticing Kaworu's sight. _For how long have I been looking at him?_ Everyone stopped talking because of my little scene. I could feel my cheecks burning once again with all the attention turning at my direction. I had no clue on what to do, my eyes watering ever so slightly.

I heard someone chuckling beside me and a slight pression landing against my back, soft and warm. It only hit me that it was Kaworu after a whole second. "Are you ok?" he asked in the same suave tone as before.

My eyes shifted from the bowl's direction to him. Although he still wore a light grin, I could see some sort of worrifulness in his eyes. Or maybe my hiperawareness just had me going crazy at the time. "Yes," I responded, swallowing. Then, shifting my vision to the rest of the table, I reassured my condition. "Sorry, I really am fine."

Almost at the same instant, they came back to where they had stopped. Kaworu was still looking at me, though. Now he smiled wider. "That was my fault... It wasn't my intent to startle you. May you accept my apologies?"

"You don't need to be so formal," I groaned, but then snapped at the perspective of that sounding unpolite. Contrary to my fears, Kaworu didn't look offended. "It's fine, really. I should be the one saying 'sorry'."

Kaworu didn't say anything, simply beamed. "Do you like green tea?" he asked out of the blue, reaching for a cup and the kettle placed on the table. The liquid went down fuming, landing delicately inside the cup. “Here, take this one. Careful not to burn your tongue, right?”

“Right”, I said weakly, accepting the cup. The stone felt warm against my hands.

* * *

 

Misato came back a few minutes later. Opposed to my deplorable attempt of socialization, she was quickly talking to everyone else, even me. She seemed to spend most of her time conversing with Mari, all the while frequently laughing out Toji and Kensuke’s intentions of flirting.

* * *

 

Kaworu had a total of three cups of tea until the end of the get together. Once in a while, he would talk to me about trivial matters after serving me another cup.

* * *

 

Later that night, I was hugging a pillow with unnecessary force, albeit not exactly aware of it. I wanted to meet Kaworu again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for taking so long to write this. School is absorbing both my time and will to keep writing. But, anyway, I do hope you like the new chapter! Also, if you can, please leave a kudos or a comment.
> 
> Here are a few links I've used to describe the North Campus:  
> [map and access](http://bit.ly/1w2wy9M)  
> [detailed map](http://bit.ly/1tPex2z)

My first class wouldn't start until 7AM, but the sky didn't look like it when I woke up.  A hand went to rub my eyes while the other one randomly winded on the nightsand. It stopped when I felt my cellphone's volume.

"Five", I repeated hoarsely the number that I saw on the digital clock.

I tried to sleep again, already knowing I wouldn't be able to do it. Not that I was awake, my mind kept processing images of the university I've seen up to now from researches on the internet. It became agitated with the fact that in less than two hours I'd finally discover the place.

Sighing frustratedly, I stepped on the cold floor, shivers automatically running up my spine and making me moan out of displeasure.

When I tried to move, I still hadn't noticed that the bed's sheet was locked on my left foot – maybe because I was busy yawning.

It happened really fast. When I stepped again, the tangled sheet made my leg unable to properly move and I instantly lost equilibrium.

"ARGH!". I had only time to put my arms in front of me as I fell onto the floor at the speed of light.

The thud was dry, but it felt a lot louder than it should, taking in consideration the reigning silence. My nose started to ache, so I  took a hand to verify the region.  A warm liquid-like substance had begun to slowly come out of its exterior center.

* * *

The pension had two floors, and, though it was small, it managed to still keep all the students.

The front door led to the reception; the other part of the floor was occupied by rooms and the kitchen. On the second floor, we had the living room. Horizontally gardened buildings weren’t something you could easily find in Kyoto, and the inn wasn’t an exception – still another part of the scenery I wasn't used to; regarding plants, there were nothing more than some decorative cacti placed on the reception’s desk.

The reception was probably lightened for the sake of simplifying the clients’ come-and-go. Not even Misato was there – a potential indicator of my lame earliness. Everything felt strange without a single person around; a strange sensation of numbness was circulating on my temples. I could hear my own breath as my eyes winded through the room’s old design.

They ended up perceiving my shoes in the rack, adjacent to the front door. My socks slid easily on the floor as I walked to the furniture. I wasn’t really required to take off my shoes in the inn, but it felt strange to walk with sneakers inside an interior. I sat on the genkan and clumsily wore them; I almost rolled on my back while putting on the second shoe.

“Shinji?".

The sudden silence break had startled me, making my pulse race. A creeping sensation traveled my fingers and I turned around instinctively.

“Hey”, I greeted in a quiet tone, though a sense of relief started to make room. Kaworu was standing in the wall gap between the reception and the first floor's corridor. He had a mug on the right hand, from where a small fog lifted up.

“You woke up early”, he pointed out, albeit having had done just the same. He was still wearing pajamas; they were compounded of a sleeveless shirt and shorts. "What happened to your nose?", he asked in a mild tone, though his eyebrows had joined so lightly.

My hand unconsciously went to meet the band-aid I had put on top of the area that had been damaged earlier. Stopping the bleeding had been a pain. "I fell on the floor", I replied.

"Be more careful", Kaworu advised. Even though the intonation had been worryful, a tiny grin had appeared on his face. “Are you going to college now?”.

“Yes”, I said while standing up.

"Do you want me to go with you?”, he asked calmly. "It wouldn't take much for me to get ready and I already know the city".

The offer was surely unexpected. "No, it's fine", I rejected it before I had the chance to give it a better thought.

"Well, maybe another time", Kaworu said, taking a sip of the coffee. "Take care", he added with a tiny smile.

* * *

The neighborhood’s streets were short, tiny grass  growing sparcely here and there. The possibility of a random vehicle suddenly appearing in the narrow place made me try to stay as close as I could to the streets’ edges.

The sky was cloudy that day, but for the moment the temperature was higher than what was expected of the season; I was at ease using only a t-shirt. Though only a portion of the clouds was already illuminated, some birds had begun to fly in the chilly air.

I wondered where they were going.

* * *

The bus had been more crowded than I’d expected it to be. I knew that the transportation of big cities was permanently chaotic, but I didn’t expect almost all the seats to be already taken that early.

At this point, the morning sun had already started to appear. The scarce beams of light spread shades of light orange across the urban scene.

When the bus arrived at its final point, I easily found the university's entrance at the end of the street. With my heart pounding slightly, I barely noticed it when my feet started moving.

The North campus’ front wasn’t as large as the main campus' one, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to fit in there an entire neighborhood.

The buildings looked nicer outside of the computer’s screen. I had been searching for information of the university before traveling, so once in a while I’d recognize some structures. I headed for the Faculty Building no.3, hoping I'd still remember the path; it was where I’d have my first class.

It took approximately five minutes for me to get there. The trees filled the way's sides, their colored leaves scattered across the road.

After walking for around five minutes, I recognized the building. It had three floors, and resembled a school, though the exterior walls were painted dark brown. My hands were tightening my bag’s arms as I forced myself to enter the place; I had brought it with me from Hokkaido. Its main color was purple, but it had some shades of neon green and orange here and there.

The corridor entrance was as empty as I thought it would be. One could see paintings at the walls and there was a small section dedicated to the Kyoto Institute of Technology’s history. It wasn’t really troublesome to find the path to my classroom; in fact, I only lost myself once, maybe twice, while trying to get there, using the classroom's numbers to find the right one.

The heavy clouds were still significantly blocking the sunlight when I entered the third floor. It had the same white and light blue colors stamped on the concrete walls. The doors were all placed at my right, while the other part was filled with wide windows. From them, it was possible to see the top of the trees outside; they were slightly curved due to the fast wind, and their leaves were carried on the wave, spinning endlessly for places far away. _It’s probably going to rain_.

* * *

“Good morning”, a rough voice pulled me from my daydream too abruptly.

I blinked my eyes, surprised. A substantial noise around me was quickly lowering as the man in front of me waited in silence. His hair was utterly white, shaped in an old scientist way; his clothes, although in perfect condition, had a 20th century-like style. “My name is Koyama Akifumi, and I am one of your teachers from now on. I’m eager to discover what we can learn with each other during the following years”.

I didn’t shift my eyes many times from Koyama-sensei after he started speaking. I knew what he was talking about, and I understood the passion he had while talking about the importance of Astronomy in the current scientic community. It was almost fun to absorb his knowledge – a feeling I was unable to grab some months ago.

The class last almost one hour, passing a lot quicker than I thought. I had three more, and needed to change buildings before one of them. I lost myself at that point and needed to ask someone the right directions.

I did nothing but worried about taking notes on classes, so, before I could perceive, it was already lunchtime for me. Unfortunately, a lot of people seemed to have arranged their curricula in a similar way, so the campus was crowded when I finally had the break time. It was still winding, although less than earlier, but now the humidity in the air was obvious. This resulted in most of the students seeking for covered places while walking around the area.

I had found a hidden vending machine on my way back to the entrance building – I heard people talking earlier about a cafeteria inside it. The vending machine was beside a forest, and no one really seemed to go there. As I wasn’t particularly hungry and the opportunity of finally being on my own shined before me, I decided to stay there.

My coin rolled inside the machine after I selected a snack bar. The content fell with a silent thud and I picked it up with a shadow of curiosity, as I had never seen that company before. I tried to convince myself that the plastic having a cute cat in its package hadn't been the main reason that had made me choose it.

Distractedly getting a bite, I tried to remember the next class I’d have. _If I recall correctly, it’ll be held in the third building... I think I still have some time before it star-_

“Yo!”

I turned my head to the direction of the sudden voice, almost coughing my bar in surprise. It was potentially one of the most unexpected sounds I’d heard that day, so I had to hold myself in order to preventing a scared jump.

“Hi…”, I said, forgetting completely my lunch project.

His face was somewhat familiar. Chances were I had probably seen him once or twice during my classes. His wavy hair was unbelievably black, falling at times in front of his bluish eyes. Foreigners were everywhere in Kyoto, and in one of the classes almost half of the students weren't native, so I wasn’t really surprised when I saw his unusual anatomy.

“I’m Gustav. We’ve had some classes together today. You’re studying Astronomy too, right?”

Albeit he had a joyous grin and his tone of voice didn’t sound scary, he was still at least twenty centimeters taller than me and I could tell he had an athlete-like physiognomy. My arms crossed as I tried to organize my thoughts.

“Yes”, I answered carefully, not eager to hold conversations.

“I really like the course”, he said softly, despite my answer having been monosyllabic. “So I was thinking about creating an Astronomy club. Y’know, to talk about these kinds of things”. He left the sentence hanging out in the air, probably expecting me to absorb the information. “Would you like to join it?”

This caught me in surprise. I wasn’t really planning to take part on any group in my college life; although it’d probably help me in getting a job in the future, he burden of forcefully sticking with strangers didn't seem to be quite appealing.

For some reason, it was difficult to avoid his gaze. Gustav had clearly tried to maintain a composed pose, because his eyes were utterly filled with expectation. I didn’t want to be impolite and crush his hopes, but even so…

“Well, I can think about it”.

I tried to make it sound like an actual neutral response, and not a lost case. Fortunately or not, the light on his eyes got even more obvious, to the point where he looked like a kid getting something long wished for.

“That’s great! Like, seriously great! I’ll wait for your response, then. Can I ask about your conclusion, say, in one week?”.

“I guess”. I tried to smile a bit, hoping it wouldn’t come out as a fake try.

“Thanks for giving it a thought!”. He looked strangely relieved. “I have a class in ten minutes, so I’m going now. Later!”.

Gustav didn’t really wait for my response as he rushed away in a short span of time. While I tried to process what had happened, I checked the clock on top of the vending machine. I still had thirty minutes, and a snack bar to finish.

At that point, a liquid sound caught my attention. Shifting my eyes to the surroundings, I noticed it had started to rain in a heavy way. The drops were constant and big, falling gradually louder as the seconds passed; I heard some screams far away, but they started to disappear as the rain grew more potent.

I sighed, although I already knew this was going to eventually happen; luckily, I had brought an umbrella that was in the entrance building as well. Though rain itself looked pretty, my shoes would still get wet. In some minutes, I had already eaten the snack bar.

Shivers started running through my body as the environment’s temperature fell more and more. On the forest behind me, a thin layer of dust had started to form lazily.

* * *

A week went by quicker than before – I didn’t have time to sleep, only to take naps; and I didn’t have time to eat, only to have bites. Though I felt as if studying the most interesting and relevant of the threads, Astronomy required just too much dedication.

Almost all my workdays in college were full-time, and so was today. Before I knew it, I was walking away of the north campus, squeezing my eyes shut and yawning silently.

The Kyoto lights were everywhere here, very different from the vision I had in the pension. They shined immensely from the medium sized buildings and the cars that ran across the avenue. It wasn’t particularly scary, although I still wasn’t really used to the scene.

“Two hundred…  Three hundred… Five hundred… Five hundred and fifty …”, I whispered as I counted the bills and coins on my hands. I hadn’t eaten too much that day, so the exchange was fortunately still considerable.

I was in front of a Starbucks. It was halfway the inn, and I managed to go through the path by foot. It took approximatedly fifteen minutes, but my feet didn’t hurt. The incessant traffic noise beside me probably kept me distracted.

“Almost seven”, I noticed with joy. I had never had a Starbucks before, but, for all I knew, their goods were nicely cheap.

The stabilishment in front of me had a bit of a Meiji-like architecture, being unusually dark. The company’s title and logo were shown in front of it, the white and green lights shining attractively. Beside the small stone path that lead to the open door, there were bamboos probably only a few heads taller than me.

When I entered the place, a warm sensation quickly crawled my bare arms, accompanied with a bittersweet coffee scent. As we were in October, the climate outside was mildly cold, and the new atmosphere felt comfortable. There was a large counter, cutting almost the whole extension of the restaurant; there was a tiny bonsai on top of it, on the extreme left. A number of tables – in a quick glance, less than ten – were placed above the wooden floor. The walls were all decorated with pale, dark wallpaper – the one directly opposite of the counter had black-and-white, graphic shinto shrines with sakura trees on their edges and a big torii in the center of all.

The atendants had expectedly the same uniform – black shirts and pants, along with a green apron. There was a total of four, all next to the counter, either daydreaming or talking, as the clients were but a few. Behind them, shelves with a number of ingredients organizated in assimilated colors, most of which I wouldn’t be able to name. Seeing the extensive base-menu on top of the shelves, I walked to the counter.

I found myself staring at the number of beverages I wasn't used to when one of the baristas called me for attention.

"Sorry!", I apologized, starting to get a bit nervous. But, my jaw opening slightly in surprise, I noticed who was the one wearing the green apron.

"Kaworu", I mumbled.

He smiled sweetly to me, the same way he did on the mini-party, just the other day. "Hey, Shinji. I haven't seen you in a while", he commented. "Is it your first time here?".

"Yes", I replied.

My expression probably turned out a bit confused, because Kaworu explained his question right after.

"You seemed to be sort of lost. Do you want some help?" he suggested.

"Sure". I could hear a hip hop song being played outside. The sound was faint, but not difficult to perceive. Its tune was a bit familiar, but I just ignored it.

"Just recently a new drink was leaked - the Crunchy Caramel Macchiato. It's a special Japanese edition to celebrate the fall of leaves. Everyone seems to like it." he pointed out.

"Fine", I agreed almost instantly. "How much is it?".

"It depends on the size". Kaworu pointed to me the size examples in the shelves. "You can decide if you want it hot or iced. There's also a number of extras you can add".

The massive amount of additional elements being shown looked mind-breaking in that moment. "Then, I'll have a... Grande". Out of four, it was the third largest one. "Hot", I added, thinking about the weather outside.

"Then, it's 500 yen", he informed. After counting the coins and handing them to Kaworu, he thanked me and said I could wait only a few seconds in the extension of the counter.

* * *

My belly was warm at eight o'clock, half the beverage already drunken. A hand served as support for my forehead as I kept giving the lightly dense, sweet liquid eventual gulps.

My head hurt, physical formulas and complex concepts floating behind my pupils. I needed rest and medicine, but fortunately the Macchiato maskered my migraine for some minutes.

I had been staring at the lone chair in front of me for quite some time now. This sucks, I thought out of the blue. A silent sigh went down my nostrils as images of my closed room in Hokkaido came back to my mind repeatedly. If I could, I'd probably give up on everything and come back there again. The distant past was a mirage that had truly existed, but still couldn't be reached. Astronomy was nice, but I didn't dream to be there.

"Hey", a second voice entered my consciousness, this one with a calmer tone. When I focused my eyes out of the reverie, Kaworu had occupied the chair. He was wearing normal clothes now: a green sweatshirt and, as I came to discover later, black shorts and fresh Nikes.

"My turn just ended", he said, the usual smile still there, though now, for some reason, it seemed to be rather more joyful. "Want to go the pension together? I have some games I still haven't tried out".

It took me almost a whole second to understand that he was presenting an invitation. I gave it a thought for a quick while - Kaworu had been nice all the time, and, up to now, he was the only one to talk to me; though, due to college, it didn't happen frequently. Playing games didn't sound like a bad idea, even considering that I didn't have any great plans besides studying.

"OK", I tried smiling back. Kaworu seemed to have liked the answer, and we both lifted up to go outside. I grabbed my bag, which had been beside my leg all this time.

The chilly air hit me abruptly. I put my hands on the pants' pockets, trying not to lose too much heat. Kaworu had done the same, though using his sweatshirt. Looking to the other side of the street, I identified the car playing the hip hop songs. The current one's tune was a bit familiar.

We took our shoes and sweatshirts off after entering the inn. It was comfortably warm inside; I wondered if the heat was turned on. Misato greeted us when we passed by, I behind Kaworu. She was reading a colorful magazine, the legs positioned above the reception's desk.

As we moved to his room, now and then talking about little things, I found myself staring at Kaworu's back. For some reason, I couldn't stop paying attention to the way it moved against his t-shirt's fabric.

The slightly long white hair fell to the end of his neck. Its colorlessness had almost an unnatural feeling to it, reflecting every tiny ray of light wherever place he was. And it's beautiful. I remembered how red his eyes were, always capable of locking my gaze. His skin was one of the palest I'd ever seen, and his smile so warm.

Kaworu is very unique. I wondered if there was anyone like him somewhere.

* * *

With a click, the doorknob was unlocked and revelead Kaworu's room. He entered first, tossing his sweatshirt on top of his bed, only visible because of corridor's shine.

He turned on the lights quickly, telling me to come in. "Please feel at home", he said as kneeling down on the carpet in front of the bed. When I gave it a look, I saw he was picking up two sodas from a small portable refrigerator. I felt my eyebrows lifting in surprise. I'd never dream to have one of these while in college.

The room had the same structure as mine - white walls, wooden floor and furniture, a bathroom on the other side. But further there the discrepancies were painfully obvious.

There was a laptop next to his sweatshirt, plugged to the wall next beside the bed. It was open, and the screen was black. However, a blue flashing point showed it was operating. Further high, a clock was working. It had a sophisticated aura, considering its fineness, the lack of numbers and the black patterns - expect for the red pointers.

Kaworu moved to the other side of the small room and opened the wardrobe. The top counter had a number of boxes varying in size and color, a few wires coming out of them. Below it, the hangers put up mainly suave clothes, with a few more colorful ones. Along with four pairs of shoes, there was a console; giving it a proper look, I noticed what one it was.

"A PlayStation 4?", I blinked. Because of the studies, I hadn't payed attention to videogames, but I still found them interesting. Playing them for hours was a common activity on my childhood; I didn't remember where my old GameBoy was, but I could remember perfectly its textures, the sounds it executed, the tiny cracks it had thanks to the times I accidentally let it fall.

"I bought it when I was still in Tokyo. It was in its pre-release stage, so I was pretty excited", he laughed.

"It looks awesome", I dumbfounded.

"Doesn't it?", Kaworu replied as he grabbed it to the big TV in front of the dark green carpet. It was on top of a low desk with three drawers compounding it. Kaworu opened one of them, and then went to take care of connecting the PS4 to the television. "Choose whatever you like. There are others too, if you don't feel like playing those", he said, pointing to the open drawer.

I sat on the carpet and looked inside. There were a lot of games there, and all legal. One of them, however, quickly caught my attention. "How about Need for Speed?". The cover showed two cars in a race, a cloudy and nearly tempestuous seaside road as the background. I had owned an older version of the game before, so getting to play a more recent one would be nice. Will I still be good at it?

"Great choice", he commented, already coming back and positioning our joysticks and sodas before turning off the lights. When he came back, Kaworu put the disc inside the console and waited for it to process the data. "I won't go easy on you", he warned with a false seriousnes.

"You won't need to", I said, to which Kaworu answered with a laugh. I caught myself smiling. "What course do you take?"

"Astronomy".

 _Astronomy_? At first, I thought he was kidding. But the neutralness of his voice made it obvious that he wasn't.

"But I take it too".

"What?", Kaworu said with his eyebrows a bit joined after taking a sip of the can he had just opened. "Why have we never seen each other, then?".

"It makes me confused too".

He didn't say anything for some time. Instead, he seemed to be concentrated on getting to the game's menu and settings adjustments. I thought he wouldn't say anything more, but right then he chuckled. "How did we manage to program our classes so they wouldn't match even after in a whole week?", his ruby-like eyes turned to mine again, now only one eyebrow arched in an amused way. "We should change the agendas".

I nodded, clicking the X button in order to choose my car. The perspective of having a classmate to feel comfortable next to seemed strangely appealing.

* * *

At a point, the game's scenery looked like Kyoto. The flashing lights were hipnotizing, with tall buildings lit on nights where no one ever slept. The fast pacing was exciting, and for those moments I fully forgot the world outside and what mattered the most was making drifts and conquering the first place.

It was fun.

* * *

"No!", Kaworu exclaimed for the third consecutive time.

It had been the third consecutive time I won. Kaworu had taken victory in the first races, but now I was able to understand basic tricks and helpful movements.

"No one beats me when it comes to Need for Speed", he complained with a crooked smile, the outrage from a second before proving itself not to be real. "Where did you learn to play that well?".

"Here", I replied, tossing myself onto the carpet. My soda can was empty, lying next to my hand.

Kaworu laughed. "I should challenge you more times".

The sense of tiredness I had some hours ago was coming back - though now more aggressive. In fact, only the thought of having college the next day made my migraine show signs of pulsating somewhere inside my head.

Nonetheless, the images of the time I was having with Kaworu were present as well. _Someone will talk to me tomorrow_ , I thought while yawning. _Maybe this city doesn't suck much after all_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to tumblr user [blushingbertl](http://www.blushingbertl.tumblr.com) for beta-reading this chapter. I hope you like it and have a nice christmas!

"Shinji," Misato greeted me a second after I got in the penthouse. She had her hair in a ponytail, an open beer can by her side.

I had just come back from class, which made me feel somewhat tired. The teachers' lectures echoed in my mind.  _If I'm not careful, I'm gonna start thinking with their voices_. The possibility made me shiver inside.

The room was decorated with Christmas garnishes, as today the date would be commemorated. A tree, almost as tall as I,  was put on the edge, filled with glittery balls of a number of colors, little Santas and tiny reindeer. Some fake gift boxes were also placed along the room, one of them on Misato's desk.

October and November had gone by in a glimpse. I had done fine on most tests, but I needed to waste blood and bones in order to get some average grades. Though it was supposed to be fun, the immensity of the subjects was a pain.

"Hi," I greeted back, heading slowly for the second floor, listening to the sound of her fingers quickly typing on the keyboard. She stretched her legs, placed on top of the desk, and then took a sip of beer.

I was almost taking the first step to the stairs when her voice made me stop in my tracks.

"What do you say about getting a roommate?" she asked in a calm tone, not looking at me.

"A roommate?" I repeated in a murmur, surprised. I could feel my eyes widening, awakening, as I went back to the reception, leaving my bag tossed on the floor. "Seriously?"

"Yep," she said, still not showing any signs of excitement—though it wasn't necessary since my attention had been completely caught. She actually had mentioned the possibility of having someone to share the room with earlier the previous weeks, but I gave up on the idea since no one really showed up. Now that it finally came up I didn't know if I felt plainly curious or just strange. "I think he didn't mention it to you before, but...," she typed for less than a second before drinking the beer empty and looking at me again. "Kaworu seems interested. What do you say?"

"Kaworu?" I quickly exclaimed back, not being able to hold myself. Nonetheless, a feeling of embarrassment came right after, and I felt my cheeks burn. Misato looked at me as if she was about to raise an eyebrow, but simply came back to staring at the monitor. "Oh, I mean, yeah," I cleared my throat. "When did he tell you this?"

The clock was tic tocking incessantly, though the sound was only faint. After a dramatic pause, I perceived it was already 8 p.m.

"Today, before going to class. He seemed to like the idea, and even said he'd keep paying the rent like he was in a separate room." Misato finally stopped typing, smoothly throwing her head at the chair. "But then I said you two could just share them." She closed her eyes in a stronger manner. "I almost feel regret."

Kaworu had helped me a lot with studying, when he had the time. His grades had all been the greatest of the class—and in spite of feeling happy for him, saying I wasn't even a tad jealous would be a lie.

We had started to see each other in class, as changing our schedules had been successful. However, the only thing we were able to do was meeting looks, as paying attention to the teacher was strictly important.

But we were able to find some free time in-between classes. I found out Kaworu had a group of people he used to sit with, but he was only an outsider there—more because of a matter of choice. "They're boring," he once whispered to me.

"Oi!" I heard someone saying, taking me out of my reverie. It was Misato, now standing on her feet and eating a mochi I had no idea where she had gotten. "So, how will it work? Is it okay for Kaworu to be your roommate?"

"It is," I answered a second later, trying not to sound excited or anything.

I heard the sound of a door clicking on the floor above, and, subsequently, rhythmic steps. Due to the growing intensity, it seemed to be heading toward the stairs. I wondered if whatever we did on the second floor was always so blatantly obvious to Misato’s ears.

She herself didn’t show signs of having perceived it. At that point, Misato was trying to sip a lonely drop of beer from the empty can. The results didn’t seem to be positive, as she sighed disappointedly. “I’ll get another one,” she said in a low voice, heading lazily to the corridor.

The body that had been producing steps finally appeared on the stairs, starting to descend them quickly. "Hello, Misato-san," Kaworu exclaimed half a second after she entered the corridor.

"Hello," she exclaimed back, her voice reflecting into the reception room. 

The sudden presence surprised me. He was wearing...judo-like clothing, I guess. It looked similar, but I was certain it wasn't that exact fighting style. He wore white sleeves and utterly black pants that, if not for his movements, I would've thought were a really long skirt. His feet were protected by barely visible, pastel slippers.

"Shinji!" he said me after seeing me. His hair was more of a mess than usual, and he unsuccessfully tried to make it behave. I laughed a bit at the scene.

"Do you practice matial arts?" I asked, preferring such a general term in fear of making a mistake and ending up offending him. Kaworu shook hands with me, smiling as well.

"Yes," he answered almost proudly. "Aikido." 

 _So that's the name_. "I'm going to practice now. Do you want to go with me?" he asked. Buried inside his calm eyes, I could see some sort of burning hurry. He was probably going to be late.

The question hit me with impact, as I wasn't used to this type of activity at all. A jolt of fear came from my very insides as I tried to say something. Of course I'd only watch everything, but for some reason I could feel myself panicking with emotional torture. I felt a drop of anxiety forming right above my forehead, my body heating up unnaturally. Kaworu's eyes stared at me with expectancy. 

"Sure," I vocalized before giving it more thought, knowing I didn't have all the time the world could offer to make a rational decision. My mouth dried.

"Awesome," his smile widened. "Come!"

Kaworu stated that we didn't really have the time to take a bus, so we ended up running to the dojo. Literally running; although I found the idea crazy, tagging along was the only thing I could do, else I'd permanently lose sight of him.

Kaworu had to slow down repeatedly as I clearly couldn't compete with his speed. I felt guilty, but the way my vision blurred and my limbs hurt, as if a centipede were eating them raw, made me unconsciously leave those feelings to come second.

 "We're almost there," Kaworu exclaimed, turning his head to me. We hadn't entered the district's center yet, and I hoped this wouldn't be the case. Dodging one or two people per street was already a pain, as was not falling whenever a corner appeared.

The moonlight could barely light the space, as the electric poles flashed their slightly yellow lights onto the streets. A number of houses’ lights were already turned off.  _Is it really that late?_   I didn't know for how long we had been running, but I wouldn't give it more than twenty minutes.

 _Almost twenty minutes_. The thought left me in despair. Chances were that walking was something to be given up for a few days; I could almost feel lactic acid boiling in my veins.

Kaworu said something, but I didn't hear him. After we turned around a corner, a street that was almost fully sleeping revealed itself—only two buildings being the exception, their lights still oddly on.

A bird flew quickly above us as Kaworu reduced his speed—or maybe it was a bat. One of the houses still awake had already passed, so I deduced that the next one was the dojo. As my legs acquired the rhythm of a quick walk, my adrenals started to work at full potential.

Kaworu had stopped, and now we were in front of the dojo. I was breathless, but Kaworu’s cheeks were just somewhat reddened. He hummed, his expression confused.

"What happened?" I asked among puffs.

The place wasn't as big as I'd thought—though, because of the path full of green around the entrance, I could only see it from far away. It had an old-style feeling to it; the building was painted white and structured with wood, strangely paler on its ends. The rooftop extended itself almost a meter from the exterior walls. The lights came, faintly, from the bamboo doors.

"Nothing," he said in a tone so low that I could barely hear him. "I just had a weird feeling now."

At last, Kaworu opened the gate casually, as though having done it many times. He made a movement with his head, inviting me to enter.

The greeny path was surrounded by a number of plants, specially bamboo, built with stones. It appeared to be a nice place to be in the morning, isolated of the city’s sounds.

The inner part of the building was practically fully filled with tatami, with a few areas left for a water fountain, the reception and some seats. The walls were white there as well, giving the environment a light aura.

The students were already in formation, sitting all symmetrically—or such would be the case if it weren’t for the spot left alone by Kaworu. Quickly, he handed me his keys and cellphone, and assumed his position. Luckily, the sensei walked on the tatami just a few seconds after.

"Good night, young ones," he started to speak. His voice had that kind of timbre that sounded respectable. "I hope we are able to have a dynamic lesson today." He didn't have much hair, and his eyes seemed sore. Nonetheless, his image gave a sense of superiority.

I took a seat on one of the two benches. Aside from me, there was only a little girl, who uninterestedly observed the scene.

The students rose after the sensei finished speaking, and began warming up. Now and then, they screamed in a horrifyingly intimidating way—which startled me to the point that I needed to hold tightly onto the bench, but I gradually became more used to it.

Their movements were synchronized, so I had the opportunity to look at everyone without losing of sight which actions were done. Even so, my eyes would only stare at a single student.

* * *

 

"You were awesome!" I exclaimed.

We were outside now, Kaworu having just finished the two-hour long session. "I wasn't," he laughed off.

The images of Kaworu executing throws and locks, and throwing punches and kicks were still heavily engraved in my mind. I discovered he was one of the top-class students by the way almost everyone treated him like a superior—and it wasn't for no reason. His speed and strength were considerably greater when compared to the rest of the class—but equivalent to three other guys who had the same rank as him. The complexity of the movements those four people had was the coolest. Unfortunately, there wasn't any moment they sparred with each other.

"You got excited," Kaworu noticed with a teasing grin.

"It's your fault," I replied, making both of us chuckle.

Alongside the cold December wind, I caught myself wishing to see him at the dojo again. Almost everyone had already left, except for a few who stayed in the building. When our chuckles died, the scenery became wrapped in the silence of the night, having only the faint noise of other streets and the eventual sound of a nocturnal animal.

The street's silence was broken by the sound of shoes scraping on the ground. A group of teenagers appeared on the corner from where we had come. They walked slowly; two or three light points moved together with them, leaving to the air but thin layers of smoke. Kaworu followed my trace of vision, though more discretely. They wore ripped and mostly dark clothes, laughing now and then.

When they saw us, however, the silence on the group governed. I counted two people.

Kaworu shook his head positively as a sign, and, without discussing it, we both turned to the opposite corner. It was a lot closer, and we shifted directions in a matter of seconds. Some murmurs came from the group; a node was forming inside my throat as I heard them turning the corner too.

"Oi, boys!" a masculine voice called us—seeing as there was no one else on the street—and a mass of laughs emerged again. I didn't know why it had been funny. I could barely see the details of the environment: just that the street was narrow, and there were houses and poles filling it.

"Don't run away!" another one exclaimed. The smile in his voice was painfully obvious. "Heeey!"

I was able to perceive Kaworu tensing beside me, probably because I was immensely aware of any movements and sounds with all the adrenaline exploding in my system. He stopped in his path, and, though fearful, so did I. I had no idea what to do, so relying on him was the only thing I could think of.

"What do you want?" Kaworu exclaimed, his voice lacking all the usual gentleness. The frequencies hit my guts as if piercing ice throughout them, as that harsh tone of voice was a new one for me. I tried to gulp the static saliva in my mouth, but my throat was completely tangled. He was gazing at the group with a mortifyingly serious expression, his jaw more retained than natural and his eyelashes immobile.

"Just plaaay," the same guy sang, and I noticed he held a bottle of cheap sake. They themselves didn't stop, so the distance between us dissipated in a short frame of time. They smelled like alcohol, and the strong cigarette smoke made it barely possible for me to breathe.

As if time were in slow motion, I saw one of them lifting an arm, the fingers of his hand slightly distancing, and, following its movement, it was clear that it was supposed to be friendly placed on my shoulder. At that point, sweat had never felt so cold. 

But something happened that blurred his arm out my vision. After a millisecond of confusion, I realized Kaworu had slapped it away, and now he stood in front of me. " _Don't touch him_. Say what you have to say and keep going on your path," he said in a cold, alerting tone. 

The guy that still hadn’t said anything stomped his feet predatorily, walking closer to us and almost touching his forehead to Kaworu's. "What the fuck, boy?!" His voice was muddled, disoriented, and his face rounded. His eyes were wide open, but his lips formed a thin layer of intimidation. He had a skinhead hairstyle, just like the other young man. "Mind your place." He then looked straight at me; a scream was retained in my lungs as his threatening iris drunkenly analyzed me, only to shift back to Kaworu. "Or your boyfriend's pretty face will bleed."

The next thing I knew was that a breaking sound was heard, and the guy fell down while holding his nose. Kaworu had punched him, and probably had damaged a few facial bones as well. Yelling sounds of annoyance, the two left went straight to Kaworu. One of them kicked his stomach, causing him to lose his equilibrium. Taking the opportunity, the other one poked his head violently, which made the bottle of sake fall to the ground and roll down a few decimeters next to me.

The scene became a mess as they kept fighting. Maybe they weren't too drunk to do it. I didn't know what to do; there was no way to call for help, and entering the combat would only make things worse. Kaworu managed to lock the neck of one of the guys and simultaneously kick the other one. It was clearly difficult to handle two people. 

The bottle of sake rolled down one more time, now hitting my feet. A glimpse of thought came to mind in the matter of the moment. Leaving my fear behind, and taking advantage of the fact that Kaworu was now holding one of them, I took the sake bottle and, hoping it wouldn't hit Kaworu, smashed it in his face. He screamed loudly, but it stopped when Kaworu gave him a throw and his body went hardly to meet the cold, hard ground.

"You f-," the first lad tried to cuss, quickly delivering a punch towards Kaworu. Nonetheless, the latter evaded the attack, capturing his arm and, kneeling, performed another throw. The guy landed with a hoarse thud.

It was only then that I perceived how fast our breaths were. Kaworu looked directly at me, his mouth and a wrist bleeding. "Let's go, quick," he huffed in a single instant, and, right there, we started to run again, back to the inn.

* * *

 

Now, both of us were puffing when we finally entered the warm building. Misato wasn't in the reception, and there was some noise of voices on the floor above.

"You need bandages. But first, a shower," I said to Kaworu. He looked at me only for a short moment before turning his back and heading for the stairs. However, before he made it to the top, his head shifted to me again and, for the first time since the fight, he smiled the way he always did.

"Take one too, and dress up nicely. It's Christmas, after all."

* * *

 

We had both taken proper showers; the feeling of comfort on my skin after the hot water had been successful in washing the bigger worries away. Now we were in the kitchen searching for a first aid kit.

I opened a section of the cabinet nailed on top of the cooking stand that still was to be explored. A white plastic box behind the tsunami of cups made me curious; I extended an arm in order to grab it and give it a better look.

"Found it!" I said, and, lifting his eyes to attest my discovery, Kaworu stopped searching for it inside the cooker.

 _What the fuck, Kaworu_ , I thought, confused, wondering if he really hoped to find it in such a place.

"Sit there, please," I pointed to a chair next to the kitchen table, located on the opposite wall of the cooker.

The table almost touched the greeny wallpaper. A cheap lamp lit the environment, revealing the mainly white appliances—all smaller than the traditional size. The room was expectedly ordinary, the fridge being the closest utility to the door. Beside it, there were the cooking stand and the cooker.

Since the injuries were already clean, only bandaging him would be enough. For some reason, I hadn't considered the possibility of letting Kaworu do all the work.[  
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1986666/chapters/new#_msocom_30)

"What even was that all about?" I murmured to the air, thinking about the first time we saw the group.

"Hm, I can only wonder," Kaworu said. I thought he'd add something, but, as the seconds passed, it seemed as though this wouldn't be the case. However, he did break the silence after some time. "Maybe they're likely to harass people at the streets? And also..."

His voice then acquired a guilty shade. His eyebrows joined lightly as I finished bandaging his head. His skin felt soft. "It was really late. I'm sorry I dragged you into this, Shinji."

He wasn't looking at me straight in the eyes, almost as if ashamed of his actions. "What are you talking about?" I replied. "I went because I wanted to. And, in the end, it all ended up fine, right?"

"But…," he started to say, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"I'm serious. I mean, of course that part wasn't great, but it was fun going," I reasoned. The whole conversation had a strange aura, so I became somewhat embarrassed. Trying to drift away those thoughts, I started to bandage his cheek.

Kaworu finally looked at me. The reddish orbs expressed the reminiscence of the concern from before. Notwithstanding, the previously indicted expression started melting into a tiny smile.

We were now staring at each other. An awkward feeling merged inside me as I noticed just how close our faces are.

But I didn't back away, though the rational part of my mind told me that I should. Even so, neither did Kaworu. His lips opened inconspicuously, and that simple sort of movement seemed weirdly...interesting. His eyes wouldn't change the direction they looked, his messy hair shined platinum.

Against all chances, a particularly loud noise from the second floor woke us up instantly. The bizarre situation we had been into made us move away, coughing with discomfort.

Now I looked directly to the ground, feeling my cheeks burn. Strangely, I had the sensation that Kaworu was doing the same.

"So...shall we go to the celebration?" he asked, and, from the border of my vision, it appeared as though he started scratching the back of his neck again.

"Y-yeah. Of course," I stuttered.

We quickly stood up and went to the door almost at the same time, in a way that was about to make us collide.

"You...first," Kaworu proposed. I tried looking at him without moving my head, but apparently he had tried to do the same. Our eyes met, but in the same second we turned them away again.

"Thank you," I murmured before heading onward.

* * *

 

There were appetizers distributed along the living room, and almost every host had voluntarily gathered. Misato-san had organized a Christmas meeting, with a radio playing themed tracks in the background. Garlands were placed horizontally on the wall, and the tree in the reception had been brought up there. People were mostly drinking wine or soda, the sound of laughter and lazy jokes filling the air. I was finally starting to get into the Christmas spirit, and any kind of worries I still had were to be left alone until the sunrise of December 26th.

Kaworu and I were talking next to the closed window, watching as snow had finally started to fall. "Has Misato told you that I want to share a room?" he had a relaxed, crooked smile that now and then met a cup of hot coffee. I was pretending nothing had happened in the kitchen, and fortunately Kaworu was cooperating. He was wearing a blue Christmas sweater—which I had discovered was bought last year—that had snowflakes printed on the fabric, black pants and dark brown boots.

"She has," I answered, grinning as well. "When did you decide to try it?" I was wearing a plain red shirt, twill pants and old sneakers. They were comfy.

"I had been thinking about it for a while. It sucks not to have a roommate, doesn't it?" Kaworu asked, winking at me. 

I didn't understand the movement's reason, but it triggered an insecure heat that slowly spread on my cheeks. I did my best to make myself believe it wasn't there.  _It's the wine's fault_ , I thought, moving the glass around in my hand. "When will you be coming?"

"When I finish packing everything. Although I haven't even started," he laughed. "Would you be interested in helping?"

Before I could say anything, someone called us from behind. "Kaworu, Shinji," It came out of nowhere, and I turned to my side in surprise.

It was...Mari, I guess.  _Yeah, that must be her name_. "Can you come with me for a bit?" She held a big smile, filled with the whitest of teeth, but I wasn't sure how inviting they looked. Painted with hidden doubt, my eyes went to Kaworu. He gazed me back, but then shrugged. I shook my head positively, as if we had reached a silent agreement.

"Sure," he acted as the diplomat.[  
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1986666/chapters/new#_msocom_35)

As we turned away from the room, the noise of the voices reduced progressively. We passed straight through the reception, and I wondered why we needed go out. The yellow light of the room illuminated Mari as she quickly opened the door and called us out with a hand movement.

Even wearing a shirt, the night still felt cold. The rush of chilly air made me brace myself.

"Do you want my shirt?" Kaworu asked, pointing to his christmas sweater. For some reason, he looked funny at that moment. Some snowflakes were gathering on top of his hair.

"It's fine," I said, smiling a bit.

Our moment was broken when we heard steps; we turned around toward their direction. One second before shifting the angle of my vision, I wouldn’t have imagined how shitty things would get.

Mari was next to a redhead wearing military shoes. Along with her, there were four other people. They weren't smiling, nor radiating a good sensation. One of them had a skinhead hairstyle.

"Hey, slags," the redhead called in an aggressive tone, although already possessing all of our attention. "Are you two the fucking retards that messed with my gang?".


End file.
